Despair and Recuperation
Time-out for me; The Abyss for you
To my subscribers awaiting Part 4 of 5: Bargaining of my very dark series on our impending civilisational collapse: This is just a note to let you know that I’ve had to take a break from writing about the subject to protect my mental health. I fully intend to return to it as soon as I can. Curious new readers may start at Part 1 of 5: Denial.
During a moment of deep despair, a dear friend offered me this advice:
“You need to take care of yourself first. If paying attention to something is destroying you, it doesn’t matter how right you are. First and foremost, you must look away. You are no good to anyone in this state, least of all yourself. Then maybe later you can take another look from a more robust standpoint.”
It’s the sort of pragmatical advice you can’t refute. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Live to fight another day. Put the oxygen mask on yourself first.
It’s just so dastardly difficult sometimes. People who cannot bear wars and genocides know what I’m talking about. When something truly horrific goes unaddressed and largely ignored by most people as if they truly don’t care, it can really set you spiralling. It’s hard to look away because it feels like you are turning your back on your core values.
I have looked into the Collapse abyss for a year straight now. It is, unfortunately, one of those subjects where the more you look, the worse it gets. Some of the things I’ve learned since my first post are so grim that I can barely stand to share them with anyone. Failing carbon sinks, likely-begun tipping points and ever-worsening prognoses are moving our day of reckoning ever closer… No, Smeagol. Stop!
I’ve initiated half a dozen drafts of Part 4: Bargaining but have been unable to complete them because I become ill when contemplating it too deeply. I’m better than when I was at my lowest point (which I hinted at here), but the dark, churning waters are there, ever beckoning. I have not made it to radical acceptance of our dismal future yet, but I’m trying. I really am.
I want to finish the series satisfyingly, and sooner rather than later. I just have to pace myself. In the meantime, to satisfy your cravings for Collapse, should you have any, I’d like to point you to a Collapse Resources page I made a while back. It has more than enough to get lost in.
Just remember: this is a bona fide red pill / blue pill situation. Proceed with caution.
“Unfortunately, no one can be told what Collapse is. You have to see it for yourself. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You close the browser tab, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to.
You click any of the links, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember, all I'm offering is the truth. Nothing more.”
- Morpheus
PS. Look out for a post soon about a mini-collapse happening in a certain nation near you.
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Being collapse aware is isolating, exhausting, and sometimes overwhelming. It can render other things in life we used to enjoy meaningless. My advice is simple, try to live in the moment as much as possible. We dwell too much on the past and worry too much about the future. Accept those that can't see or embrace reality as you can, and love them for who they are. Do your work when it's cathartic, do some heart pumping exercise when it gets you down. Seeing more than others is heavy, but you're not alone. This space proves it. BTW, the cartoon is perfect.
Jan, if I may say, as long as you have finishing this series as an objective, you will not accept it. It will certainly take you longer. Check out my last article, One Year of Substack. I didn’t wait for the right moment nor did I have another objective. I have accepted it and do not care now. Take care and be strong!